Swipe Life

I’m this imaginary geometrical shape with ‘n’ sides. This post is about one of those sides, known to nobody or very few. Things I post online are mostly for mere entertainment. They do not reflect my entire lifestyle. Apart from cultural differences, this post won’t work out well in my mother tongue for some reason. So, this is only in English. Here’s an imaginary conversation to save you some time:

‘What is it about?’
- It has dating tips, tricks, experiences, some ‘what happens next will shock you’ kind of click baits.
‘The entire internet has them. What’s so special about this one?’
- Well, it is the same as the rest of my posts. No motto, no points, no preaching, no specials, just my random scribblings (or maybe rants, who knows).

Alright, it's almost on the table. I'm single. Do I like it? No. Am I doing anything about it? Also no. This is going to be fairly long, so you may go and get popcorn. Continue reading for a good laugh, a deep thought, a pinch of pitifulness, or nothing at all. Whatever works! 😂

Casual Dating

I was this cheesy, clingy, smothering, hopeless romantic person (maybe I still am). I've had my own share of crazy rides as well. When my relationship fell apart (amicably), I really wanted to be the type of person who would go on a bunch of dates and have hookups. I definitely felt like I had missed out on my teen/young years. So, I tried. I signed up for countless dating apps & websites and went on a few dates too. But I was already dating anxiety for a long time. It is still a rebound sometimes. Interacting with other homo sapiens isn’t rocket science. Except for me. Awkwardness is always a side effect. But this is a destructive and unrealistic thought.

I’d tell myself that I’m being casual, and I wasn’t there to find a soulmate. But I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to “just hang out,” and I couldn’t date anyone who I couldn’t paint a future with. So, I stopped trying to make things fun in a particular way and started taking the pressure off myself. This isn’t a race. But, when the reality strikes, all I'm left with is a big void space and my credit card details in a safe place (I'm not an idiot). If casual dating works for you, kudos to you. But personally, I’d rather have an apartment, a nice couch, Netflix shows, and dream about the future.

What (and not) to do?

I have read tons of blogs about how to behave, what to tell, especially what not to tell, and honestly, I have understood only one thing. There's no 'one size fits all' solution for anything. I could write a fat book about everything, in a plagiaristic way of course. I don't know if this is going to help anyone, but here goes. Honestly, I could care less about these kinds of stuff. I’d say everyone as well. Again, this goes for both sexes (nope, there aren't more than two of them). These are personally a big turn-off to me:

• Blank Bios (duh!)
• Follow me on Instagram (I'm not here to up your follower count)
• Politics & Religion
• Your zodiac, sun, rising, moon, and/or Venus signs
• Your Myers-Briggs personality type (ENTJ, INFP, ABCD, PQRS)

I am an extremely judgemental person. But not ‘you must be at least 6 feet’ type of judgemental. That is not in anyone’s control. While having certain expectations is a good thing, don’t let it manifest into red flags. You might find just what you want outside ‘your type’ arena.

I aM NoT SiNgLe. I Am ‘SeLf-pArTnErEd’.

Newsflash: Being in a relationship isn’t everyone’s main priority. Singledom can be an active choice. If you happen to stumble upon a person who has been happily flying solo for multiple months, or even years, take a step back and be extra cautious. I am not saying these are the perfect solutions, but there’s no harm in following this.

First of all, don’t assume that the person was single because there’s something off or wrong with them. Don’t confuse them with a person who couldn’t romance. Don’t ask them why they’re still single. Even a complimentary question like, “How someone so smart/pretty like you have been single for so long?” is upfront insulting. It silently implies that singlehood isn’t their choice. Loneliness is a gift, only if you give it to yourself. Else it is unexplainably excruciating.

To the lone wolves out there, be prepared to be stood up and ghosted. It happens. Life ain't a fairytale. I can hear you murmur 'what I should do'. Well, grab yourself a nice dinner, manspread on those twin seats and watch the movie, practice self-care, and finally text your date. Yes, just send a text that says, "I had a nice time, we should do this again" and leave them to revel in confusion!

Until next time – cheers!